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Motherinlaw's Funeral
A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he
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Mohammed and Douglas Adams
Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.
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What's on your back?
A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your
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Jump out of the plane!
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the
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irish ... light bulb joke
How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb?30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning.
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a nerd, a nude, and a bike
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice
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Death becomes nerd
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR
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10 Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.7. When you
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You Know You're Out Of College When...
1. Your salary is less than your tuition.2. Your potted plants stay alive.3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.5. You have to pay your
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Accountants and Engineers on a Train
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single
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You know you drink too much coffee when...
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you
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How To Be Annoying (A Guide)
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." Drum on every available surface. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
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50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
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Proof That Santa Doesn't Exist - For Nerds!
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan)
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.....olympics
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?...Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border..
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Whats the diffrence
whats the differance between a camera and a sock???A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes...
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A Son's Love
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a
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Chinese and Spielberg
A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead,
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