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imigration test
You know how they use to give immigrants a test when they came to America? Well the last question on the test was to use pink, green and yellow in a sentence. So when the Mexican had his
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Computer Dictionary Part I
BIT - A word used to describe computers, as in "Our daughter's computer cost quite a bit."BOOT - What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your
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Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore crash
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you
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Tech Glossary
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art
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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life,
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Addicted To Computers
Ten ways to know that you're addicted to your computer:- 10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL. 9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your spouse. 8) Your house
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Colombian computer joke
Why did a group of Columbians run away from a computer lab.Because the computer said you have performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown.
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Now thats lazy!
My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer.
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Program Manager
A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and
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Things You Don't Want Your System Admin To Say
Things You Don't Want Your Sysadmin To Say1. Uh-oh...2. Oh S***!3. What the heck?!?4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.6. Wow!! Look at
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Computer Crashed
My computer crashed and died today And I thought, "oh well what the hey" Now I'd have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouseIt started out with weird frustrations
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Microsoft ad space
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system
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Internet Test
Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor? How do you know if you're addicted
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If Operating Systems Were Beers
DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz.
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TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM 9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug8.9999163362 It's the new math 7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes 6.9999831538 You Don't Need to
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Types of computer viruses
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.Arnold
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Bill Gates picks his own punishment
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've
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Would you define OCR?
OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colors
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Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World
10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.7. The
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