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College Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the
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Different Kinds of Doctors
There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:General Practitioners know nothing and do little.Surgeons know little
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Pete
Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall cockroach standing on his doorstep. The cockroach punched Pete between the eyes and
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How to Argue the Price of a Screw
A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting
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Professional Courtesy?
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a
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Diseases
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.""Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess," Dan replied."They're going to
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Dentist
Then there’s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you’ve got a hold of my
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Waiting Room
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re
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Deodorant
A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don’t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this
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Birth Control
An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I’d like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the
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Jelly
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how’s your breakfast this morning?" "It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to
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College
It is recounted that at King’s College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year’s rounds by teaching "a singularly
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Doctor's Notes 1
A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her
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Doctor's Notes 2
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to
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Doctor's Notes 3
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest
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Doctor's Notes 4
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read
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Doctor's Notes 5
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about
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Doctor's Notes 6
I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the
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Doctor's Notes 7
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was
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