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The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper."Steve,"
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This wife is too jealous
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a
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A way to save your marriage
A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your
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Don't take any chances
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and
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What a large crowd
A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.A farmer replied, "Joe's mule
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The way you say it
It's not what you say, but the way you say it.On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: "Time stands still when I look into your eyes."The girl was very flattered.What the boy
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Going to the office
Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby -
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Finding perfect men
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends."The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical.
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Getting into fights
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.As they passed a
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Have long marriages
Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.The Mrs. goes
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Gift for a birthday
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her
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Wife was mad at me
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my
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Subjects for a date
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work.
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Smaller or larger tuxedo
A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the
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Write on the bottom of shoes
Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote "Help" on the bottom of the groom's left shoe and "Me" on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for
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Cheap plastic rings
A groom buys the engagement ring at a jewelry store. As the groom enters the room, we "have been talking about" the news that says the jewelry store he just went to is being
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I'll just call my lawyer about this
Another on that I have seen pulled is to have someone speak out at the time the minister asks, "If anyone has good reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold
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A secret pregnant lover
At the rehearsal dinner for my boss' daughter and son-in-law-to-be, a loud eight-months pregnant teenage girl suddenly appeared at the back of the room screaming ten minutes worth of curses
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One way ticket across the country
A groom's friends decided to throw his bachelor party the day before the wedding, and as often happens on these occasions, by the end of the evening, everyone was completely drunk, and none
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Return your keys
Before a friend's wedding reception, we passed out keys (blanks) to several girls and one guy. Before some toasts were made, the best man said to the guests, "Now that Jim is married
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