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Don't say this to a cop
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.18.
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Swerve to avoid a box
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another
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Looking into their eyes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you
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Dealing with criminals
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force
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Partner takes vacation
Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.7. He wants
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New person in prison
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at
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Wife helps out the cop
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going
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Catching the shoplifter
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do
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He's drunk at the bar
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys
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Getting a new deputy
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job."Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer,
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Working in the garden
A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisioner, knowing that
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Catch a drunk driver
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're
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Prison Versus Housewives
In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and
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Lost far from a home
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and
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Getting in an accident
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics
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Dealing with a juggler
Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh
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Should have glasses
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."The
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The reason for running
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.The
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Rookie is on the job
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.The officers drove to the
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Try to catch the rabbit
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He
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