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New Driver's License
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad
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Lady Sunbathing
A Lady was on a business trip. Since she was so tense from all the meetings, she decided she would go to the roof of the hotel she was staying in and sunbathe to help her relax. She went to
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Ocean Joke
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?Nothing, it just waved.
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Car Acronyms
AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs ImplementedAll Un-informed Drivers InsultedAll Unnecessary Devices Installed BMWBig Money WorksBought My WifeBrutal Money Waster
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Glazed
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you
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Clinton Vacation
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed
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Far East
Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the
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Bad Motel
1.The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.2.The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. 3.The "magic fingers vibration"
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Haircut before Trip
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?It's crowded & dirty and full of
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David Beckham
whats the best way to travel to the moon?transform yourself into a ball and get davidBeckham to take a penalty!
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The subway car was packed...
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the manbehind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking
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Noisy stuff
Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?"Radar: "Sir, have you
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A businessman boards a flight...
66.A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a manual about
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Alaskan tourism
If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public serviceannouncement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking
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Magician and Parrot
Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over
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Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna
Fly the Friendly Skies in your Cessna And who says our controllers don't have a sense of humor? ------------------------------------------------ November 22, 1996 - Any More
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A group of Americans was touring Ireland...
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot.
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El delicatassen
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind
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